I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
