Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
