He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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