dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
