Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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