He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My hand turned me down
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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