My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my poor anus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
