No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
