I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
