Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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