OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
