and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
