I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
