I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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