I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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