this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
