Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
