I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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