These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
