I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
