when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize