she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
