In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
