There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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