gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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