First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
