you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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