; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
