rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
