I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
