I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
