This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
