My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
