The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
