honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
