Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
