that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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