I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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