im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
