so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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