Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
