"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
