420 ftw
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
