I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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