I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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