you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
