the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
