a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to sanitize my soul.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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