at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
