Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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