? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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