We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
