I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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