Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
