i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize