i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
