Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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