Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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(415): View more from California

I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?

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(+61): View more from Australia

She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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(941): View more from Florida

I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.

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(734): View more from Michigan

she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!

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