So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
