so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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