Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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